General Writing

Men, Women, And The Circles Of Sex Or Celibacy

June 6, 2015 by scarletdarkwood

Can men and women be “just friends?” Can a non-married couple have a relationship without sex? How long can they usually go before they do? We know non-married couples do have sex. There are married couples who don’t. The question stirs up hearty debates.

Some say yes, while others give a resounding no? Some will give one answer in a group, while saying the exact opposite if you talk to them alone. I’d never thought much about the question myself, but once I did, I decided to share my answer on Christian Jensen’s blog, Beautiful Stories For Ugly Children. If you’re interested in reading what I have to say about the matter, head on over to Christian’s blog and read it for yourself! Feel free to leave your comments there, or you can comment here.

Men, Women, And The Circles Of Sex Or Celibacy

What are your thoughts? Do you think men and women can be just friends? If so, why, how? If you don’t think so, why not?

(On a side note: Christian, a fellow author, and I met at my shop in Nashville. En route to pick up his newly adopted dog, he decided to stop and chat. What a wonderful thing to have met a virtual person in the flesh. We talked about all things Booktrope, writing, sharing what worked for us, what didn’t, and new things we were trying. After inviting me to guest-post on his blog, I’d decided this issue of men, women, sex or celibacy warranted further discussion).

Anything Goes With Bennet Pomerantz

May 30, 2015 by scarletdarkwood

I love doing radio shows. I’ve been familiar with Blog Talk Radio for a number of years, when I hosted radio shows for a shop I own. It was a great way to get information in front of customers, while giving a taste of what the guest was like, how their voice sounded, how they reacted to questions.

One day a fellow author, Cassandra Dayne, offered the opportunity for two guests to join her on Anything Goes, hosted by Bennet Pomerantz, writer and columnist. Of course, I jumped at the chance. Though I love writing, it’s nice to take a quick break and chat with fellow authors who also write in your genre. Joining me was my buddy S. E. Rise.

For thirty minutes, we talked about inspiration that fueled our stories, our current works in progress, and last of all, writing advice we’d give writers. I talked about the Pleasure House Tales, and how Pleasure House got started. Readers, if you want to know more about Cassandra Dayne, S. E. Rise, and myself, getting all the goods straight from the proverbial horse’s mouth, then take a quick break and listen to the show.

You’ll learn more about why we write what we do, the catalyst behind our works, and how our twisted minds work! Any comments welcome!

Authors With Cassandra Dayne

How Culture Has Influenced Me

April 27, 2015 by scarletdarkwood

I was encouraged to think about the elements that influence my writing, what spurs the passages and descriptions a reader might find in one of my books. Let’s face it, so many experiences, even the seemingly smalls ones, color who we are, and for writers, this often shows up in their stories. I chose to focus on a post outlining how culture influenced me and my novels.

You can’t tell by looking at me, but my cultural heritage is American and Latino. You see, my father was from South America. As child growing up, that meant closer family ties, spending holidays and weekends together, and going to church. But it’s the language and the food I remember as well as anything else.

In my mind, I still hear my aunt and father speaking Spanish, and when my paternal grand mother came to live in the United States, she strengthened the ties to the original homeland even more, because she didn’t speak English, nor was she accustomed to the mores and traditions of the US.

But the food! Oh, the smells and spices filling my aunt’s kitchen. She prepared as many Lebanese dishes as American and Hispanic, only because she’d married a wonderful Lebanese man. As a result, my exposure to different cultures at a young age enriched my life only in ways I truly appreciated when I became an adult.

As a younger person, I see now that I took my experiences for granted, and when I come into contact with others who didn’t have those experiences, their stories hit me rather flat. Something seems to be missing, and as I reflect more at an older age now, I know what that special ingredient is. It’s the traditions, language, and interactions from other cultural backgrounds that truly added spice to my life.

When I graduated from high school, I spent two summers in South America, visiting the homeland of my father, the land where he didn’t want to relinquish his citizenship, though he said he would have died for America. I stayed with family, a cousin, who had three girls and a spouse. During my visits, they immersed me in their lives and culture. For the most part I saw many similarities, school, shopping, homework activities, the usual.

What struck me most was the parties and get-togethers. My younger cousins spent much of their weekends attending parties, and the adults spent time at each other’s home, engaged in talking, singing, dancing. Though one may wonder how this is different from Americans, these people thrived on sharing time together. Though music was also popular on my mother’s side, my American heritage, I don’t recall seeing family members dance. My American friends got together at times to play card games, like Uno, but they didn’t have special Mis Quince Anos parties or invited people to large birthday parties, in general. In South America, invitations to events were hand-delivered, and unless you had a good reason for not attending, you saved the day and showed up, always bringing a small gift.

During my first summer in South America, I also gained a boyfriend, thus introducing me to the dating life! This gentleman stood taller than most people of that culture. He was six feet! Very sweet, smart, and a true gentleman. At that time I learned that kissing wasn’t just for showing affection, but also used in greeting and saying goodbye. The first time he kissed my cheek to say goodbye, before officially asking me to be his girl, totally floored me. Then I realized that’s what people do in this country!

How did these experiences work their way into my writing? They slipped into my writing because they are the most readily available frameworks for me, where I use language, food, and modern-day preferences. Many men, for example, prefer or are strongly attracted to Latina women. In my first novel, I used Spanish phrases, following them up immediately with the English translation. I used fragrance and dance as part of scenes, exposing the main character in the process.

In one of my short stories, which has been accepted into an anthology, one of the characters features a Latina female and is set in Mexico (another place I’ve visited as well). For me as an author, I frequently draw from Hispanic or Latino culture to help enrich my work. The goal is to provide as rich a backdrop in my stories as the backdrops were for me in real life—minus some of the escapades! After all, that’s what fiction’s for!

Tiffani chose to put her “Writer’s In Residence” on hold a bit. Her readers requested this so they could savor the posts when time afforded them to do so. I’m thinking my readers want to read my post “now.” Tiffani’s site is a great site to check out more authors and increase your reading experience. This Writer’s Life

A Sacred Union Of Similar Minds

February 14, 2015 by scarletdarkwood

Love is wonderful, the way you fairly skip with giddy excitement, the way your heart rushes when you’ve discovered a mutual understanding with a like mind. I’m not talking about a polyamorous relationship as most of us know it, but multiple lovers, in a sense, are involved, allowing a beautiful union, a ripe time for co-creation. Sound a little steamy? This experience has a rush on it’s own, from wooing, to courting, to the final proposal–and then the marriage!

What I’m talking about is the coming together of a group of authors who’s minds, creativity, and general good-heartedness all contribute to a unique way of publishing: literally co-creating a universe and writing the stories that intersect, meeting in the middle–of that universe. Basically: Multiple authors, multiple stories, ONE universe. I know a group of authors who had this experience. No, created it! And the results were eye-opening, mind-blowing, and fun. I was among them, in the frenzy, in the eye of the storm.

And out of this union, a concept was born: Kosalogy

Kosalogy means a collection of stories that all intersect at one universe. What you have is an anthology or a collection of stories that could be viewed as episodes in a novel, so that by the time you’re finished reading, you pretty much have a solid world-view of that universe, what it is, it’s history, and the characters involved. Each kosalogy is different, with unique characteristics, and so is the next one, and the next one.

Anthologies, on the other hand, are a collection of stories expressed toward a certain theme. Each author alone spends time creating the elements of their story as it focuses on the theme. There is no joint collaboration, no melding of minds, no having a companion to travel the twists and turns in the road. You are a lone wolf, going it in your own way. You share your anguish and happy moments alone. Quite the opposite of the kosalogy, where collaboration is king, and content is queen, if not the next king.

When a group of authors create a kosalogy, they brainstorm on the world, the theme, and the types of inhabitants who will make up that world. They create the backstory and discover new ways aliens or humans can interact. The characters battle the elements, fall in love, fall out of love, make war, make peace, make haste. Each story can nicely fit into another one.

During the creation of a kosology, it’s a time for discarding egos and time for stirring up creative juices. Likewise, it’s a ripe time for uncertainty, fear, frustration, and triumph. It’s a cosmic experience that allows creation at the highest levels, from the heart and from the head. When the authors work in harmony, blending creativity, creating new characters and new elements, they end up producing the “whole.” From the many to the “one.”

Creating kosalogies teaches you a whole different way of looking at writing and how stories can be written. If you’re squeamish about a certain genre, the group helps you along, hand-holding when it gets tough, gently pointing out how you can make your story stronger, more compelling, better. Most of all, it teaches the beauty of stepping outside yourself and sharing ideas and critiques with others, creating new worlds, and if the fit is just right, the possibilities are beautiful and endless.

If the concept of Kosalogy intrigues you, you can find out more about it at Kosa Press.

Are Selfies Self-Love Or Pure Narcissism?

February 10, 2015 by scarletdarkwood

(Photo: courtesy of Pixabay)

Careful! Don’t be flaunting all you got, dancing on the bar of some hip saloon. Someone might be watching you–and snapping a pic for their social medial wall. But what do tons of photos of yourself mean to others? What if you don’t have any of yourself?

With cameras on practically every cell phone, computer, and tablet, people are snapping pics like crazy these days, and many of them are of themselves. There seems to be two camps of thought on this. Some people allude to selfies as a means of exploring and loving yourself, while others suggest taking tons of selfies show a more sinister side to the human psyche: Addiction, and worse yet, Narcissim. But the worst of the worst, mental illness! Of course, addictions and narcissism fall under the categories of mental health diagnoses.

Some observations have been that selfie obsession, the urge to get that “perfect” selfie has led to depression and sometimes suicide. Many people, on the other hand, simply want to update their friends on what’s going on in their day or show off how they look in a new outfit. Others say it makes them feel good about themselves. For me, if you’re a good friend of mine, or I have a personal connection to you in some way, I might not mind seeing a good photo every now and then. I’ll even look through your photos just to get an idea of what you’re like and what interests you have.

Do I believe all people who take selfies are mentally ill? I’ll say this, people who stay clear of selfies also can be mentally ill. As for me, I’m not sticking my toe into the mentally ill camp, but I personally believe people who are obsessed with selfies fall into the category of loving themselves perhaps way too much. That’s my observation, and I’m sticking with it. I mean, why the need to snap pictures of yourself all the time and post for everyone to see? I still can’t fathom that.

And what’s really interesting is how people become angry and offended when questioned about it. Truthfully, taking photos of yourself is not illegal, and yes, you are more than entitled to do so. But I find it odd someone would become outraged and offended when someone calls them on taking selfies. Why? Did someone’s nasty comment hit a chord? Does the bear with it’s foot in the trap holler the loudest? Or is it really that it’s no one’s business how many photos you take of yourself? My take on it: It’s really no one’s concern. My request, however, is that you don’t force me to look at your cell phone so you can show me pics. The rest, I can simply avoid by not looking at your photos page or posts on social media.

Want to take a pic of you and your boyfriend on vacation? Sure! Most people do that. Want to take a photo of you and your BFF on a girls only trip to Vegas? Go for it! But remember, “What Happens In Vegas Stays In Vegas,” until you post that pic on social media.

What are your thoughts on selfies? Why do you take them? Do you think you take too many sometimes? Not enough? Too many self pics show a darker side of human nature? Is it all in fun, or is nobody’s business?

Digging Into The Entrails

January 4, 2015 by scarletdarkwood

Flannery O’Connor said many things in her short life. This particular viewpoint I found quite interesting:

Writing a novel is a terrible experience, during which the hair often falls out and the teeth decay. I’m always irritated by people who imply that writing fiction is an escape from reality. It is a plunge into reality, and it’s very shocking to the system.

Luckily, I have not found writing a terrible experience. My teeth have not fallen out, thank goodness. My hair . . . Let’s just say I was not blessed with luscious locks, but I have what I have! I must admit, however, that the more I try to fine-tune my writing ability, the more I have to agree with O’Connor. I’m finding authors who write moving prose have shown an ability for digging deep into the psyche, into reality, and into the darkest shadows of human thought and experience, and have brought out those mental pictures beautifully onto the page.

Such an ability doesn’t require just talent alone, but a willingness to travel deep into the guts of what makes us, for better or worse, human. As I write different stories, I’m finding I must do that too. Sometimes I hit the bullseye. Other times, a swift kick in the pants from a beta reader reminds me I failed miserably. Usually a comment of “this left me dry,” or “you just pulled me out of the story” means I failed in digging into an experience or exploring how someone might feel in the situation I’m trying to portray on paper.

I must admit, I’m one of those people who hates digging into emotions, expressing deep feelings, though I’m opinionated as hell. I’ll go a step further and state that I actually hate feeling sometimes. Life’s so much easier if you have a stiff upper lip and can go on about your business without getting too involved in the human condition. The only problem, not feeling robs you of being human, of showing compassion, love, fear, hate, and as a result, of fluently pouring out meaningful prose where it counts most.

People subjected to severe trauma often shut down, detach from life, and feel nothing. The world is a painful place and they avoid it now. Desperate for any feeling at all, they’ll sometimes inflict pain on themselves so they’ll feel something. Anything. This pain reminds them they exist, that they are still alive, still human with a future ahead of them, if they can just hang on and keep going one more day. Something inside tells them they must feel and acknowledge the good, bad, and ugly, or else go blindly through life like an automaton–or worse yet, die.

For a writer, one who writes without thinking, feeling, blindly typing out words on a screen in hopes of getting a good thought or story across, this lack of attachment or understanding can be a death knell. A good writer takes a moment and considers the many faces of human nature, the good, funny, odd, dark, eccentric, and perverted so they can tell their version of a story that’s burning inside them, and hopefully one that will leave readers more enriched and questioning their own attitudes and the world around them. For a writer, delving deep into scenarios where angels fear to tread can be scary. It means looking deep into yourself and your own attitudes. It means dredging up old pain, reliving the past, or in some cases, imagining yourself in situations you’ve never dreamed of.

It means opening yourself up and feeling. For me personally, that’s difficult much of the time, and if I’m not careful or don’t have beta readers who keep me on track, my stories risk lacking that human element, or leaving a reader wanting more. Like a person undergoing psychotherapy, a writer must also explore those uncomfortable aspects of life, those instances where one squirms a little, or a lot.

No genre is exempt from this type of self-study. In erotica, one has to consider sex, the arousal evoked, and in some cases, the willingness to incorporate some the kinkiest activities in the sex arsenal. For me, that was hard, especially when it came to using some of the lingo that went with it. I have a personal prejudice again certain words. My very first release showed that prejudice in the form of flowery, what may be considered more Victorian, language. For most readers, that will be a deal breaker. When I went back and tweaked the story again, the language was a little more palatable, but still not hard-core. However, I wrote it they way I wanted to, like it or not–and it sells the best.

In my erotic short stories, I let my hair down, closed my eyes, and let the “nasty” words fly. To my surprise and amusement, there was something rather liberating in that act, just letting it all hang out and dangle, if you will. My current WIP is different, altogether. Because the main character is suddenly thrust into an insane asylum, I’m forced to capture what a person in such a horrid setting may feel when they see unsightly scenes and insults to humanity. I have to capture how a woman feels when her old life has ended and she’s forced far from her home, and must build a new life with no family, friends, or relative who can help.

I’ve got some ideas for some horror stories. Likewise, I’ll think about what motivates people to harm others or what drives their world, what makes them think and act they way they do. During Christmas, I wrote a short story in the sci-fi genre, which is totally out of my element. Talk about rationalization! Both my characters found themselves rationalizing just to survive an unpleasant mission and continue in their privileged lifestyle. This experience as a writer was amazing and valuable. It taught me how to think differently and how I might tackle elements out of my usual genres.

Like we say today: “It’s all good!”

If you’re a writer, what things bog you down? Do you find it difficult to search deep inside yourself, your experiences? How does this affect your work? Do you struggle with tackling the dark sides of humanity? Do the negatives of today actually drive your work, encouraging your plot lines? I’d love to hear about it!